As I’m finding my voice as an artist (an ongoing process for life!) I’m looking back through old bodies of work. How did they come along? What was my intention? Where did they come from?
When I look at this particular volume from around 2010 I am very much aware of where I was at that time emotionally. I had just divorced my childrens Dad (for the second time) and we had moved back to my hometown Køge. The reason we got divorced was that I had found out that I am gay. Emotionally I was all over the place.
What a lot of people see in these paintings are penises. Maybe they are and maybe they’re not. Maybe it was a goodbye. Who knows. To me though it was an exploration of a technique I saw Astrid Sylwan use on You Tube. And I was making mountains. (And a totem pole.) I love mountains. (And totem poles.) Maybe because Denmark is so flat. (And totem poles are cool.) Maybe as a symbol of my awareness about a future where I had to climb mountains. It’s never really that simple when I paint. I paint from an emotional place. A state of mind. But it’s never about just one thing.
A few of these were part of a series called 'going' and as I'm explaining on the screenshot below, from an old website update, it's all about intuition, analyzing and state of mind. In the text I also talk about reversing my routine. Working from a theme instead of looking back and discover it? That never happened! I don't really pick a theme and then go for it. It's more about what's going on in my life. Inside and outside. What interests me, what angers me etc. The difference from earlier on is that now I'm aware of where I am in the process.
I will admit to these two below being very sexual. You might not even agree. I went through a fase that I just had to go through I guess. And it kinda came out like this.
- breathe: suck blow puke
- serial masturbator: you would if you could
Below the left one is from around 2010 and the right one is from the other day. Do you see any similarities? Does it make a difference now that you’ve learned I’m gay? ;-)
And pink is back huh? I actually had a period where I didn't use pink much. What does pink mean? To me? To you? More on that in a later post...